Fighting Porn Addiction

Pornography addiction is one of the leading destroyers of relationships. Someone becomes a porn addict when they become emotionally dependent on porn to the point of interfering with every other aspect of their daily lives and relationships.

Porn addiction is more than just an intense interest in porn. It is a medical condition that alters the brain and causes the user to feel compelled to keep viewing pornography, even when it is clear that doing so only causes pain, harm, and damage.

The widespread usage of smartphones and the internet has become a tool to feed porn addiction. Now, addicts have access to millions of explicit sexual content with just the click of a button, anywhere, and anytime. These devices allow you to view and store porn in large volumes without anyone else being the wiser.

There are too many problems associated with porn usage and addiction. Porn desensitizes the user and interferes with their moral development and interpersonal relationships with others. Constant exposure to pornographic content increases aggressive male behaviors towards women and increases the likelihood of sexual violence. It also degrades the quality of relationships and robs the user from experiencing authentic intimacy, love, trust, and honesty.

How Pornography Affects Relationships

Pornography is a big deal in marriages. It slowly erodes physical and emotional intimacy, two key players in every relationship. The effect of pornography addiction on the lives of the people around the husband suffering from addiction is extensive and devastating. The man is not the only one damaged by his addiction; the wife and children can also be affected.

Here’s how pornography addiction damages a relationship.

1. It creates unrealistic sexual expectations.

Like with any other fictional picture, pornography is acted by actors bringing a scripted character or scene to life. It is safe to say that most of the scenes are overembellished, unrealistic, and edited. But for some reason, people find it harder to make these connections when they watch pornography compared to when they watch other fictional movies. 

They fail to comprehend that real sex will not be the same as the perfectly scripted scenes they watch on pornography flicks. As a result, they begin to have a false impression of what a sexual partner should look like and unrealistic sexual expectations from their wives. 

2. It decreases satisfaction.

When it becomes clear to the addicted partner that their spouse can not meet their sexual expectations, it decreases satisfaction. They begin to lose interest and avoid sexual encounters with their partners. In some cases, the user also finds it hard to become sexually aroused without pornography. Overall, the sex life of the affected couple dives.

3. It leads to emotional detachment.

Because pornography is self-gratifying, it leaves no room for emotional intimacy. It leaves no room for vulnerability and openness, making it hard to reproduce that bonding that accompanies physical interaction. An addict will always turn to porn to fill the emotional void, further alienating their partner.

4. It decreases self-esteem.

Pornography can lower the self-esteem and self-worth of the affected spouse. They begin to compare themselves to what their partner watches on screen and usually find themselves lacking. Some may even begin to see themselves as stupid, sexually undesirable, weak, and worthless. This constant bombardment of negative self-thoughts eventually affects how they relate with their addict partner, giving rise to bitterness, jealousy, and distrust.

5. It destroys trust.

Most porn addicts indulge themselves in secret, partly because of the shame associated with it. The sneaking around, lies, shame, secrecy, and isolation involved in feeding the unhealthy habit eventually snowball into bigger problems. 

Partners can usually sense when they’re being lied to. The subterfuge involved in keeping the addiction secret eventually breaks down the trust and confidence in the relationship.

How to Fight Porn Addiction

If you are trying to kick a porn habit, just know that it is easier to do in theory than in practice. Remember that, so you don’t get too hard on yourself when you relapse. Every day without pornographic content is worth celebrating. However, it is not a testament to your weakness if you relapse. Just get back on the horse and try again.

Here’s how to fight your addiction to pornography.

1. Know that you’re not alone.

You cannot kick an addiction on your own. You will need the support of the people who care for you and professionals to see you through this journey from beginning to end. The first step on the journey is getting rid of the shame that comes with porn usage. That most people do not talk about their use of porn does not mean you are alone. It doesn’t mean that you have to be alone. There are others out there with the same story as you – some have even succeeded in kicking the habit, and you can too.

Listening to people who have been where you are now can be an empowering indicator that you are not alone. Even famous celebrities have struggled with pornography addiction, and they are so open about their journey.

2. Get a good filter or accountability system.

To get a better grip on your porn addiction, you are going to have to learn self-control. That can be hard to do with the prevalence and easy access to porn everywhere. You can get good filter software on all your devices to block most of the pornographic content on your devices. Take it a step further by installing an accountability software that reports your weekly internet and gadget usage to a trusted friend. You can also put safety controls on your TV to further reduce temptation. 

3. Educate yourself on what you’re up against

Knowledge, they say, is power. Look for resources from experts on the subject to help broaden your knowledge about your condition as you begin your journey. This will help you avoid false starts that could discourage you from progress. 

4. Find a support group.

There are several communities but online and offline that can help you kick your porn addiction. Do not be afraid to reach out to these communities to find help and support from people who have been in your position. 

5.  See a certified therapist.Porn addiction can be a reflection of other underlying issues. It would make a lot of sense to meet a professional to help you get to the root of the problem instead of just curing the symptom. Do not go to a sex therapist as they won’t be much help. Instead, look for a certified sexual addiction therapist as they have been specifically trained to acknowledge the reality of sex addiction, including porn addiction.